


Comfort

by Mikey_is_a_zombie



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Grieving, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death (Mentioned), sort of sleep paralysis (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-21 05:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15550626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikey_is_a_zombie/pseuds/Mikey_is_a_zombie
Summary: It wasn´t until well a year into their relationship until he realised something – and then asked himself how he possibly could have missed it.





	Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my third thing for the Thorcruce week, I hope you like it :)

It wasn´t until well a year into their relationship until he realised something – and then asked himself how he possibly could have missed it.

Bruce woke up feeling cold, the blanket was gone, he probably had kicked it off the bed during the night that was nothing special, he had been haunted by nightmare for Years and years, if Bruce thought it over he would say that he didn’t remind a time without waking up in the middle of the night screaming or crying and bathed in sweat.   
It had gotten better though, ever since Thor and he started dating his boyfriend had woken him up before his dreams became worse, he held him in his arms, just letting Bruce know he was safe, the scientist could count the times he didn’t wake up to Thor next to him on both his hands, the occasions where he didn’t even leave a message were even less. And that was the thing. 

It was the dead of night and Thor was nowhere to be seen, he didn’t leave some kind of message and the door to the bathroom which was connected to their joined bedroom was open, the lights were off. Bruce’s heart started to race, feeling panic rise in his chest, Thor wouldn’t just – leave, would he? The scientist shook his head, trying to get this thought out of his head. Thor would never just leave me without a word, he thought, angry about himself, he knew that something was wrong.   
Bruce slipped out of the bed. Their little apartment was completely silent except of the usual sounds of cars way down at the foot of the tower, “I have a bad feeling about this” Bruce muttered to himself to fill the unsettling silence that filled the hallway, he should have taken the flashlight in his nightstand with him instead of just going for it.   
Suddenly he heard a noise, the scientist tensed up, held his breath; it sounded like heavy breathing, the kind of breathing to suppress sobs, the kind of breathing to calm down after crying too long, the kind of breathing that meant something was very, very wrong. 

Bruce burst into the living room, throwing the door open.   
On their couch sat Thor, obviously startled by the sudden appearance of his boyfriend, he had been crying, that was easy for Bruce to see due to the god’s puffy eyes.  
“Thor? What happened, what is wrong? Why do you sit here all alone at this ungodly hour?” the scientists voice was heavy with concern, he took the last to steps to reach his boyfriend and let himself sink down next to him, pulling him in his arms. Thor remained silent for a minute letting him be rocked back and forth slowly “I´m sorry I woke you up” he answered silently, tears glistening in his eyes again, “You don’t get enough sleep anyways Love, go back to bed, I´m fine…” Bruce pushed him back a little to look at Thor properly “You are not fine” he stated softly “Don’t try to denial it, you look like you have cried for hours, please tell me what is wrong…” the scientist ran his fingers through Thors hair affectionally, it had grown a little after the events in Sakaar, but after some time the god had decided to cut it off again. 

After some more time of silence and staring at each other Bruce sighted, his eyebrows furrowed. “Darling, you are crying again… Look, Thor, you don’t have to say what´s wrong when you do not feel up to it, okay? Just don’t try to tell me it´s nothing, because trust me, I can tell…” Thor just nodded before burying his face in the crook of his boyfriends’ neck, sobbing again. The angle he was bend to be able to be embraced completely by Bruce looked rather uncomfortable due to him being way smaller than Thor, but he didn’t seem to mind.   
Bruce hummed silently, he ran one of his hands up and down Thors spine, the other one playing with his hair. 

“I-it´s stupid…” Thor mumbled after a while, his voice thick of tears.   
“I bet it´s not” Bruce pressed a kiss on the top of his boyfriends´ head, encouraging him to continue.   
“Sometimes…” Thor took some time to collect his thoughts, shifting so he was now leaning against Bruce’s shoulder, “Sometimes I wake up at night, and I- I think I see Mother or Father or… or Loki or Heimdall, and I can not move, becuase i know that as soon as I can move, even just do as much as blinking, they are gone… again…” Thor hiccupped a little, grabbing Bruce’s left hand with both of his, wanting to make sure he was no hallucination, wanting to know is boyfriend with him.   
“Oh god, Love...” Bruce felt horrible, how long had this been going on without him even suspecting Thor, the ever-optimistic sunshine of the Avengers being stuck in this deep swamp of grieve? How was he oblivious to the fact that he was not the only one with problems, wanting to believe that Thor got over the death of his best friend and his family, the people that always were with him as long as he could remember, as easy as he wanted to make everyone believe? “That’s not silly, it is only natural for people to grieve after a loss, especially when it was four people in as little time... I am the stupid one for never noticing ho bad you felt, grieving is not a weakness, it is was makes us people...” 

“Usually Asgardians do not- grieve like humans do” Thors eyes were trained on the black screen of the TV “Usually we know that the dead who died on the battlefield will live on in Valhalla so we mourn for some time, but then we celebrate the dead, except of father everyone did die in a fight, but... where do the dead go now? Asgard is destroyed and all of the Asgardians are gone, which means so is Valhalla so... is there no life after death for my loved ones? Are they just gone? They do not deserve to just disappear, they deserve to feast and drink with fellow warriors, they deserve to laugh and having mock fights, they deserve everything and so much more” his voice was dry, it hurt Bruce to see Thor like this, he had red, puffy eyes and bags under his now dull eyes, every hint of his usual happiness gone, 

“See Thor, you are not alone with those fears, that is why humanity believes in Gods” he held his breath for a second, waiting for Thor to contradict, telling him that humans did not make up all religions, he was a god himself after all, but not a noise escaped Thors mouth, he just waited for Bruce to keep talking in his soothing voice “People do not want to think about their loved ones just fading away, if you want I could tell you about other religions and the life after death? If you don’t know about those yet I mean...”  
Thor shook his head lightly, “Thank you love, I would like to try to find solace in those stories, but I have to tell you something first that- that is not the only thing. So many of my loved ones have died in the last months... I am deeply afraid that... well, that I will lose you too, if not on the battlefield or an accident because of your age... I could not live with nobody left.” Now Thor shivered, silent tears running down his face again. He had cried way too much in this night, but after keeping his emotions and fears bottled up for so long he just lost it while talking to Bruce. Silence fell over them, the scientist choosing his next few words very careful to not upset Thor even more, but rather give him some security. 

“I have always hated Hulk.” He started slowly, not sure whether it was a good idea to tell the god, but he didn’t see another solution and Thors emotional stability couldn’t possibly crumble much more, so he gave it a shot: “I hated him for various reasons, for example because I hurt people with no chance of stopping it, he made me lose control. And for a long time, the most important reason to hate him was that he made me... made me live.” Questionably Thor looked up to him from where he laid on Bruce’s shoulder, “Yes, when I hit rock bottom he didn’t even let me die, when I tried I turned... and he always just healed... but now, now this is the one trait of Hulk I love, do you know why, Love?” Thor shook his head, clinging even harder on Bruce “Because my aging is significantly slower, in the case that I die it would take so much longer than a normal human. I am not even sure that I can die of age. Or at all. I might outlive you.” 

Bruce laid his head on Thors “I love you more than everything, and I will never leave... please, always remember this Thor, it´s very important to me” Bruce pulled Thor even closer, holding him tight, 

“I will never leave, unless you ask me to.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am very sorry, please forgive me... It´s pretty much the first time I´ve written angst so it is kinda bad but well...  
> Also if you think it is over the top, remeber how Thor was in iw, with him gaiong "I´ve got nothing left to lose", i pretty much feel like he is pretty emotional, but he doesn´t want to show, so, yeah.


End file.
